How´s Heaven?
by Sameo-AngelHeart
Summary: One shot- A single letter, from one friend, to the other... Warning: Very emotional and deals with a hard subject. Not kidding here.


Disney owns Kim Possible. No jokes today...Not today...

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This one-shot is dedicated to the memory of my friend Raymond. Who died three years ago on this day. He took his own life after a series of complicated incidents.

Raymond,

Beloved Son, Brother, Friend

(1984-2001)

'Lest a tragedy go unremorsed'

{ Hey Raymond, Everyone still loves you! Ha, you get it!? Everybody Loves Raymond! That always was your favorite joke... }

----------------------------------Try reading this letter outloud to yourself.---------------------------------------

Dear Kim,

How´s Heaven? Is it all it´s cracked up to be? It must be great now that you are there! I bet there´s a Beuno Nacho on every street corner. And that they always serve you perfectly made Nachos. For Free! Well at least Rufus thinks so.( And I kinda of personally hope that too.) There are alot of people that send their regards. Wade misses you alot. He dedicated your website as a sort of memorial because of well... Anyways. You should have seen the look on Will Du´s face when I dumped our entire work load on his desk. Even though he didn´t show it, I think he took your loss very seriously. You know, I think he kinda liked you. Everyone at school misses you, Josh misses you also. And so does Bonnie, suprisingly. She didn´t seem to eager to take up the position of captain. Can´t say I blame her. Monique is crying for you, not because your dead, because up in heaven they have practically every single style of fashion, and she thinks your just going to be spending your days just trying to find something that suits you without her help. Never could figure out you girls. The school posted a memorial for you in the courtyard. You should see it, It´s really colorful, what with all the flowers and everything. But it was nothing compared to your funeral.

You should have seen it Kim! Everyone came! Even Drakken and Shego! Can you believe it? They made your funeral world news! It was even more wide spread then Princess Diana! It was so beautiful. Flowers everywhere. Practically everyone had something to say, which needless to say made the whole thing take forever. Don´t take it the wrong way, it´s just that my feet ached for days on afterword from all the standing I did. But I didn´t care at the time. I was too busy, well, you know, crying. Yes I admit it, I was crying. I am not ashamed. It just hurt so much that I could do nothing else but cry. I was even crying when I gave the Eulogy. And can you believe it, I didn´t stutter or make a fool of myself once. When I was speaking, I just spoke from my heart, I didn´t have anything written. I just spoke. And for some reason, I felt you there... Not just in the way that you will always be with me in my heart, but I actually felt you there, right there, right next to me... You figure it out...

Your Mom and Dad really miss you, and frankly, I´m Kind of worried about them. They don´t seem to be doing much, I haven´t seen them since the funeral. But your brothers, They, suprisingly, Miss you alot! They don´t have anyone to tease anymore! But I think they are all going to be fine... It will just take a while, you know? Well I guess that covers everyone... Except for me of course...

I remember the first day I meet you Kim... It was one of the best days of my life! I was so blessed to have a friend like you! You were, and always will be, My Best Friend... You know it´s funny, how trivial things seem now. I remember when you would just fume over things like Bonnie, or Cheerleading, or some other little crisis. And Even though you may have been battling evil villians, or saving the world, You always kept your cool...and mine...

You, Kim Possible, were my best friend... You were always looking out for me, always making sure I never got into serious trouble. And even though the whole world may have been against us (Most of the time they were rooting for us) You would still be there, right by my side... I just wish I could honestly say the same about me for you... But if that were true... You would still be here, with me...

God, I miss you so much KP... I Miss you so, so, so, much... And even though this letter is getting soggy from my tears, I don´t care. I miss you Kim... This hurts so much... I can´t even begin to describe how much pain I am in right now. Why Kim? Why did you have to go!? Why did you have to leave!? Why did you have to leave me here!? All alone... I have no one Kim... I never had anyone but you... Why? You were so Beautiful, so young! You were the greatest thing that ever happened to me! You were Perfect Kim... You were perfect... It´s not fair! It´s not fair, not fair at all... It Just doesn´t make sense to me! How could god bless me with you, just to take you away!? It hurts Kim, This hurts so bad. I can´t take this anymore.

It´s been three months Kim! Three whole months and not a day goes by I don´t see your face, Not a day goes by you don´t haunt my dreams. Not a day goes by where I don´t stop by youre grave and give you flowers. Not a day goes by I don´t cry, weeping your loss. I can´t keep on like this anymore. It´s destroying me Kim... I need you... I need you here... How could you leave me here all by myself? I need you so bad KP... Need you so, so, so bad. I can´t, I just can´t anymore. I can´t keep on like this. It´s just too hard! You have no idea! No Idea! I.. I .. Miss you Kim... I need you... I love you Kim... And I never got to tell you... It breaks my heart. And I can´t take it anymore.

And that is why I am writing this letter Kim, I need to move on. I am so Sorry Kim! I am so, so Sorry! I should have done something! I Should have done, just... Anything! Anything! I would have done Anything Kim, Anything at all just to have you back! But I can´t... I can´t, I just couldn´t do anything for you when you needed me the most... I feel so guilty...But there was nothing I could do... I am just a failure... And I failed you... I am so Sorry... Please forgive me Kim... Because I will never be able to forgive myself... But I need to move on... I need to... I have to go on Kim... I have to.... But I can´t... It just too hard! So hard! I... It hurts so bad. I must sound like a rambling maniac but i don´t care! I miss you! I miss you...! I can´t keep on like this...! I can´t keep dealing with this pain, this guilt! It´s just too hard... I need you Kim... I want you back... And I might have failed you in life, I might have not have been there for you when you need me... But I won´t let you be by yourself any longer...

Don´t worry KP... I´ll be there soon... I´m coming... I´m coming...

I love you Kim...

Your Best Friend,

Ronald Stoppable

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I am not going to make any jokes today. I am going to talk about a topic very serious to me. Suicide. Suicide is a very real thing. Many people every year Kill themselves. And I am not the one to say that it was senseless, or tragic, or any of that bullshit! Suicide is a very dangerous thing. Not only for those who try to commit it, but also to those who are effected not only directly, but indirectly as well. Trust me... I know.... I am not the one to say that those who commit suicide are idiotic or senseless, because I have tried many a time to end my own life... Not a day goes by i don´t think about suicide. And I am sure many of you have had some experience with this topic. But Needless to say, Think twice about it. Whatever the situation might be, it is NEVER as bad as it may seem. There is always a way, you just might not see it. And even if it is as bad as it seems, and even though it Is in reality all of the shit you suffer, don´t you fucking give in. There will always be something there for you to do. As long as you are willing to do it yourself and not mop around feeling sorry for yourself. I don´t care if you flame me for this or not. It doesn´t matter. It´s the truth people, and no one likes to hear it. If you know someone who is going to perform this final act, try and help them out... One way or the other... And if you are the one who is thinking about performing the final act yourself, just think about it. That is all you need to do. Just think, before you act.

And with that, I leave you with my final thought.

'As I walk upon the streets of this city, I gaze to either side of me. I see on one side, The homeless, the beggars, the prostitutes, the drunks, The helpless and the hopeless... on the other side, I see the well off, along with loving Mothers and Fathers going to the movies with their kids, The seemingly happy and content... One would normally be able to tell the difference between the two sides of the street, but to me, they are all the same. They are all Human. They all feel pain, they all cry, they all suffer. Humans... All of them Nomads, Masters of Adaption, unending survivors... They share that in common as they all make their passage through life. They all Suffer. But although I cannot empathize with most of them in how they suffer, for I may never know the pain of losing my beloved, or may never know the torment of having to bury my own child, I can emphatize with the fact that we all know what it is like to suffer. From anything that seems trivial, to things beyond our comprehension, we all suffer from it. There is a point in everyones life when we feel that there is nothing to live on for. That we would rather die then continue living in this torment. That we are meaningless, worthless. That if we were to take our own lives, would anyone care? Would they bother giving our corpse a second glance? would someone bother to pick up our ashes, or just piss on them while they blew away in the wind? All of us have felt this way, and alot of us will never be able to leave that feeling behind. There are some of us who take our own lives, for any number of reasons. We weep for them, we bury their bodies, we cry our tears, but in the end, Humanity moves on. Like we have always done, and always continue to do. We struggle on through this existence, unsure of where we are going, or when we are going to arrive. We don´t even know now if there is a god, or a heaven, or a hell. We are not sure if their is an afterlife at all, or anything waiting for us when we die. We blaze a path on this harsh enviorment of existence, Our suffering and misery as our guide and sword. We all experience misery as well as happiness. Love as well as hate. Hope as well as Despair. And we continue. But Why? Why do we continue? Why do we live in this world that knows not only pain, Misery and suffering, but Love and Hope as well? Why do we move on when we feel everything is gone? When there is nothing to live for? Why Live? Why Bother? Why you ask? Because, my brothers and sisters, we are Human.'

Sameo-Angelheart

Feel free to post whatever review you want...


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